Anxiety and Worries

Feeling anxious can make our bodies feel different. You might notice:

• Breathing gets faster
• Heartbeats faster or feels like it’s racing
• Feel hot or sweaty
• Shaky or jelly legs
• Feel sick or ‘butterflies’ in your tummy
• Sore tummy or sore head
• Dry mouth or a tight throat
• Need to go to the toilet

To learn about why we get anxious, we need to think back in time, a long, long time ago… She is a cavewoman from millions of years ago. Agg’s world was so different to ours. She lived in a cave, not a house. Her cave didn’t have electricity or a door! She couldn’t just open a fridge or go to a supermarket. She had to hunt for food. While Agg was out hunting there were lots of big dangerous animals that were hunting humans. So Agg needed to be ready to face dangerous animals! She has an anxiety alarm in her body that kept her safe. Agg’s anxiety alarm would help her spot a sabre-tooth tiger while she was out hunting. It would get her ready very quickly to protect herself. She might fight the sabre-tooth tiger, run away from it (flight) or stay very still to hide so the sabre-tooth tiger didn’t see her (freeze). Some people call this a ‘fight, flight or freeze’ response. It was a very helpful alarm system and helped humans to survive. Today, our bodies still have that old anxiety alarm system (like Agg had) that gets our bodies ready to ‘fight, flight or freeze’. Our anxiety alarm goes off when we feel in danger or we think something bad might happen. Our body’s alarm system helps us if we need to react really quickly. For example, if a car comes round the corner when we are crossing the road, our anxiety alarm system will help us to jump out of the way. A little bit of anxiety can be helpful, it can help us to work hard or concentrate on a test. Even though there aren’t any sabre-tooth tigers around today (phew!), other things can set off our anxiety alarm at times when we don’t really need it. These can be things like:

• If a big dog barks at us and we get a fright
• When we feel left out or teased
• When we have to speak in front of lots of people, like in class
• When we go to a new club and don’t know anyone there
• When it’s dark at night
• When we have a test at school
• When we worry that something bad is going to happen
• Just thinking about something that makes us feel anxious like spiders

Even though these things are not physically dangerous like a sabretooth tiger, our alarm system can go off just thinking about something bad that might happen. This might be something we think could be dangerous or if we think our feelings might get hurt. These are a bit like a ‘false alarm’ because our body’s alarm system often doesn’t help us in these kinds of situations. So what happens to your body when the anxiety alarm goes off? To help us to get ready to fight, flight (run away) or freeze (hide) our body’s anxiety alarm system makes our heart beat faster so that blood can be pumped around our body to the muscles. We need to breathe faster to make our muscles work! Our muscles get ready for action. Our alarm system helps our eyes and ears work harder to look out and listen out for anything that could be dangerous! We might notice our mouth becomes dry and it might be hard to swallow. We might get a sore or upset tummy or feel like ‘butterflies’ in our tummy. This is because our body is working so hard to get our muscles ready it stops digesting our food for a little while until we are calm again. When we’re anxious our bodies are working very hard. We get hot! So we start to sweat lots and we might turn red! We might feel like we need the toilet. This is because our body wants to be very light to run away quickly so it gets rid of anything that it doesn’t need into the toilet! Sometimes we might get upset and cry to let others know we need help. Sometimes we might breathe too fast and it can make us feel dizzy or give us wobbly or jelly legs. Sometimes we might get angry and shout or throw things; (this is the ‘fight’ part) The body signs we notice when our anxiety alarm goes off doesn’t feel very nice but they are not dangerous for us.

Lots of people can act in angry ways if their anxiety alarm has been going off. For example, if you have been feeling anxious about a school test and then about starting a new club, but by the time you get home, your anxiety might have got so big that you have a meltdown and act in angry ways. When we act in angry ways this is the ‘fight’ part of our ‘fight, flight, freeze’ alarm. Anger is another normal and healthy feeling that everyone experiences sometimes. It is OK to feel angry sometimes but acting in angry ways like shouting or hitting out can cause us problems like getting into trouble and hurting other people’s feelings.

Our anxiety alarm can go off when we don’t need it but we can’t get rid of it because we need it for times when it helps to keep us safe. We can learn ways to switch off our body’s alarm system when it had a false alarm. The main things to remember are:

• Everyone feels anxious sometimes!
• Anxiety is normal and not dangerous
• We need our anxiety alarm system to keep us safe from danger
• Sometimes a little bit of anxiety can be helpful for us
• Sometimes our anxiety alarm goes off at times when we don’t need it
• We can learn new tools to help us switch off our anxiety alarm (link to relevant sections)

Helpful Apps:

Headspace Learn the basics of meditation and mindfulness to help you rest, sleep and move well using easy to follow resources.

Insight Timer Free app with thousands of free meditation tracks, relaxing music, body scans, tension release, emotion management, activities and much more. Download the app 'Insight Timer'.

Daylight (an App for young people, aged 16+). Daylight is a confidential app that can help you take control of anxiety.

Happify’s science-based activities and games can help overcome negative thoughts, stress, elevate happiness and deal with life’s challenges.

Calm is the #1 app from Sleep, Meditation and Relaxation. A mindfulness app for beginners and also has a section specifically suited for children and young people.

Moodnotes is a mood tracker and journaling app to capture your mood and help improve your thinking habits. It is grounded in CBT and positive psychology, empowering you to track your mood over time and increase your wellbeing.

NHS App 'Feeling Good' Free access to the app is given out usually by GP’s to help learn about and manage anxiety and low mood. Referral user name – coboost1, Referral password - positive

Additional Websites: What is Anxiety Information Sheet Anxiety | NHS inform Anxiety | HandsOn

Anxiety can affect our body feelings, thoughts and behaviours. Thoughts, feelings (emotions and body) and behaviours are all connected to each other. Sometimes they form an anxiety trap that is easy to get stuck in. Examples of Anxious Thoughts, Feelings and Behaviours Thoughts

• What if something bad happens?
• I can’t cope
• No one wants me here
• I’ve done everything wrong.
• Everyone is looking at me

Behaviours

• Avoid situations (like school or seeing friends)
• Leave early
• Spend time worrying or paying attention to our body signs
• Spend time checking if other people are looking

Body Feelings

• Heart racing
• Dizzy
• Butterflies
• Tense muscles
• Shaky legs or voice
• Hot or sweaty

We can draw out anxiety traps to understand anxiety and what keeps it going. Here is an example. Sometimes we do things that give us relief from anxiety quickly, but these might not help us overcome it in the long term. The boxes explain how we can easily get caught in this trap. Understanding the anxiety trap can help you feel more in control of your emotions. The more you draw it out, the easier it will be to understand it. The good news is that there are lots of ways to break the trap. If we make one change to part of the trap, it breaks the links and can make feelings of anxiety less. Try some ideas on how to change parts of the cycle:

• Thoughts
• Body Feelings
• Behaviours

Helpful Videos:

Our body’s alarm system triggers the fight, flight or freeze response . This happens when we feel stressed or angry too. It leads to lots of physical changes within the body. Your body thinks it is getting ready to deal with danger. For example, our breathing becomes quick and shallow, our heart rate speeds up and our muscles become tense.

Body tools are a really helpful way to break the anxiety trap (link to section). They turn down the body’s alarm system and help us get the balance back physically in the body. They can help your brain and body realise there is no danger so everything starts to calm down.

There are some apps at the bottom that might help you learn body tools. These can include:

Calm Breathing

This can help you think more clearly and figure out what to do in stressful situations, which can help your anxiety go down even more. It’s free and it only takes a few minutes.

Tense and Release muscle relaxation

Progressive Muscle Relaxation teaches you how to relax your muscles through a two-step process. First, you systematically tense particular muscle groups in your body, such as your neck and shoulders. Next, you release the tension and notice how your muscles feel when you relax them. This exercise will help you to lower your overall tension and stress levels, and help you relax when you are feeling anxious. It can also help reduce physical problems such as stomachaches and headaches, as well as improve your sleep. People with anxiety difficulties are often so tense throughout the day that they don’t even recognize what being relaxed feels like

• How to do Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Visual imagery:

Visualizations involve imagining something powerful in your head for a few minutes that can make you feel better afterward. Different types of visualizations can help you with anxiety

• Mental-vacation
• Quick-Mental-Vacation

Some everyday ways you can relax include:

• drawing or colouring
• having a bath or shower
• playing with pets
• reading
• listening to music
• playing with friends or family
• watching movies

Everyone finds different tools useful or relaxing. Try out some different techniques and see what works for you. It is important to try these out at a time you feel calm and relaxed in a comfortable place. If you have practiced them it will be easier to use them when your emotions are stronger.

Exercise, sleep and lifestyle are also really important ways to manage your body’s response to anxiety and can help you feel calmer overall.

Apps:

Headspace Learn the basics of meditation and mindfulness to help you rest, sleep and move well using easy to follow resources.

Insight Timer Free app with thousands of free meditation tracks, relaxing music, body scans, tension release, emotion management, activities and much more. Download the app ‘Insight Timer’.

Daylight (an App for young people, aged 16+). Daylight is a confidential app that can help you take control of anxiety.

Happify’s science-based activities and games can help overcome negative thoughts, stress, elevate happiness and deal with life’s challenges.

Calm is the #1 app from Sleep, Meditation and Relaxation. A mindfulness app for beginners and also has a section specifically suited for children and young people.

Moodnotes is a mood tracker and journaling app to capture your mood and help improve your thinking habits. It is grounded in CBT and positive psychology, empowering you to track your mood over time and increase your wellbeing.

NHS App ‘Feeling Good’ Free access to the app is given out usually by GP’s to help learn about and manage anxiety and low mood. Referral user name – coboost1, Referral password – positive

What we think changes how we feel. Imagine you had to do a talk. If you had the worried thought ‘everyone is going to laugh at me’ you might feel anxious. If you had a coping thought ‘I have practised lots and it will go well’ you might feel more confident. The situation is the same but what you think about it can change how you feel. Worried thoughts keep the anxiety going and are unhelpful in breaking the trap. Negative thoughts can make your low mood worse too. Coping thoughts make anxiety or low mood smaller and help break the trap. Here is a video talking more about thoughts: Thinking tools are a good way to break these traps. They give less attention to the worried or negative thoughts and can help replace them with more helpful thoughts that reduce anxiety and low mood. Thinking Tools include:

• Coping Thoughts
• Kind Thoughts
• Distraction

When we have worried thoughts, we can talk back to them with more balanced, coping thoughts. Coping thoughts are ones that tell us to keep going, we can do it and that anxiety can’t hurt us. Here are some examples: “I’ll be ok, I’ve been here before.” “I’m trying my best.” “I’ll use my breathing to help” “It’s ok to feel anxious, it won’t hurt me.” “I can do this.”

It is really easy to give yourself a hard time when you feel anxious or low. This might be about things you’ve done or not done, what you could have said differently or what you dislike about yourself. These thoughts can make us feel worse and keep the anxiety trap going. Kind Thoughts are encouraging and can help us to feel more confident about things that we’re doing. If you spoke to others the way you speak to yourself, would they want to spend time with you? Try being a friend to yourself and telling yourself kind or caring thoughts. ❌ I always make mistakes, I’m useless. ✔ Everyone makes mistakes, I can only do my best and give things a go.

Trying not to think about something is really hard. If you try not to think about a pink polar bear just now, all your brain wants to do is think about is a pink polar bear! One way to try and stop thinking about the pink polar bear is by imagining something different, like a green elephant. In this situation, you focus on something else to stop yourself from thinking about what you don’t want to. This is distracting yourself. Distraction can be a helpful tool to stop us from getting stuck on worrying thoughts. It helps keep our minds busy and focused on other things. You can do lots of different things to distract yourself. Here are some ideas:

• Name all the characters in a TV series
• Listen to music
• Talking to someone
• Text or see friends
• Watch a film
• Counting backwards from 100 in 7’s… 100, 93, 86, 79…
• Pamper yourself or have a shower
• Thinking of an animal or country which starts with each letter of the alphabet
• Draw, paint or write
• Play a game on your phone

When we are feeling anxious, our behaviour (what we do) is affected too. If we are facing something dangerous, our instinct is to stay away (or avoid) it. This makes sense if it is something like a steep cliff or dark lane. We might also try to escape or leave these situations. If you always avoid or escape you never get the chance to find out if it was a false anxiety alarm, if what you were worried about was true or if you can cope with the anxiety. Avoiding situations keeps the anxiety trap going. This video explains more: Helpful Videos: How can we face anxiety? When there is a situation that makes you feel anxious, try breaking it down into small steps. For example, getting the bus to school or going to a sleepover. The steps should be small enough that you can do them but that they still put you one step outside your comfort zone. A bit like stretching an elastic band. You might still feel anxious carrying out the small steps but you can use body and thinking tools to help you cope. Remember anxiety can’t hurt you! Each time you go into the situation, you should feel a little less anxious and your anxiety will come down a little quicker. Then you can think about moving to the next step and, over time, towards your goal.