Feelings

Everyone has different feelings. Some of these can be good but others can be scary or sad. Some of our feelings might go away quickly and feel so small that we don’t really notice them. Others might last for a long time and feel like they are taking over. A lot of the time something starts the feeling. This might be something happening, what someone said or a place we go. Here are some examples:

• Happy playing computer games
• Sad when our pet dies
• Excited about a party
• Worried about homework
• Angry about someone taking our turn
• Proud you tidied your room

You might feel more than one feeling at the same time. For example, you might feel excited and nervous about a party. Feelings are a way of our body telling us to react. So, when you are happy playing games your feelings tell you to keep going. When you are worried about your homework, feeling worried can make you get help or finish it off. Feelings can be hard to describe. Here is a list of some feelings: If you find it hard to spot feelings, these questions can be clues to being a ‘feelings detective’:

• What does your face and body look like?
• How do you act when you feel like this?
• What thoughts do you have?
• Which places or activities make you feel like this?
• How often do you have this feeling?

Spotting our feelings is helpful. It means we can tell other people about them and get help if we need it. If it is hard to use words for feelings, try drawing or writing them down. Your feelings are important. Tell someone about them. Sometimes when we hold feelings in, they can build up and get too big.

Our feelings can sometimes feel small, big or in the middle. You can think about how big and strong feelings are like a thermometer. They might feel quite small (like blue and green) or they might feel really strong or big (orange and red). When feelings are really big, they sometimes start to take over or get in the way of you doing what you want to do. You are the boss of your feelings. You can choose the action you do when you feel them. We can learn tools to bring the thermometer down, and to make big feelings smaller again. These tools might include talking to others, trying to relax or doing more of what you enjoy. To get more help with these big feelings try talking to an adult you trust. Your feelings are important. If it is too hard to talk about, try writing it down or drawing.

Everyone feels worried or scared sometimes. It is normal to feel this way. Other words for feelings like worried are frightened, nervous or anxious. People might also say they are stressed out. Worry helps to keep us safe from things that could be dangerous. A little bit of worry can be helpful for us. For example, it can help us run faster in a race. Worry is not dangerous for us even though it doesn’t feel nice. It leads to changes in the way our body feels. This can be scary and confusing if we don’t know what is happening. Feeling anxious can make our bodies feel different. You might notice

• Breathing gets faster
• Heartbeats faster or feels like it’s racing
• Feel hot or sweaty
• Shaky or jelly legs
• Feel sick or ‘butterflies’ in your tummy
• Sore tummy or sore head
• Dry mouth or a tight throat
• Need to go to the toilet

If we feel worried or anxious a lot of the time it can feel horrible. It might stop you doing what you need to or having fun. Try these ideas for managing big angry feelings:

• Take 5 deep breaths and blow out the worries.
• Squeeze a soft ball or a pillow
• Talk to someone about how you feel
• Think of somewhere that makes you happy
• Try some more ideas that make you feel calm and relaxed.

To get more help with feeling worried try talking to someone at your school or at home. You could talk to a different adult you trust. Your feelings are important. If it is too hard to talk about, try writing it down or drawing.

It is ok to feel angry sometimes. It is a normal feeling. You might feel some changes in your body as part of the body’s alarm system or ‘fight, flight or freeze’ response. Sometimes when we feel other emotions like worried, confused or sad, they might come out as anger. When you feel angry you might want to hit, shout or say things you don’t mean. This doesn’t really help your situation. It is not ok to be aggressive. You need to try to show your angry feelings in helpful ways. Try these ideas for managing big angry feelings:

• Take 5 deep breaths and blow out the anger.
• Shake, stamp or dance it out of your body
• Squeeze a soft ball or a pillow
• Talk to someone about how you feel
• Take a big stretch like a cat
• Think of somewhere that makes you happy
• Try some more ideas that make you feel calm and relaxed

To get more help with feeling angry try talking to someone at your school or at home. You could talk to a different adult you trust. If they don’t listen, try telling another adult. Your feelings are important. If it is too hard to talk about, try writing it down or drawing.

Everyone has ups and downs. Sometimes we feel happy and sometimes we feel sad. For some children, feeling sad can keep going. It can be really hard if it lasts a long time or is too big to manage.

Different situations can make us feel sad. It might be our family breaking up, someone we love leaving or thinking we are not good enough.

Feeling sad might make us want to not talk to our friends or family. It might make you feel like you can’t be bothered doing anything or there is no point. It can also make you cry or feel angry.

There are lots of ways that you can manage feeling sad:

• Talk to someone
• Do things that make you happy
• Spend time with friendly people or in a friendly place
• Think of happy thoughts or memories
• Try some other ideas to feel calm & relaxed (have a look further down this page).

To get more help with feeling sad try talking to someone at your school, home or doctor. You could talk to a different adult you trust. If they don’t listen, try telling another adult. Your feelings are important. If it is too hard to talk about, try writing it down or drawing.

Sometimes when people feel really sad or angry they may have had thoughts about hurting themselves. You should tell an adult if you have these thoughts so that they can help you.

Some everyday ways you can relax include:

• drawing or colouring
• having a bath or shower
• playing with friends or family
• playing with soft toys or pets
• listening to music
• reading
• watching TV or films

Everyone finds different tools useful or relaxing. Try out some different techniques and see what works for you. It is important to try these out at a time you feel calm and relaxed. If you have practiced them it will be easier to use them when your emotions are bigger. Exercise, sleep and lifestyle are also really important ways to manage your body’s response to anxiety (read more about anxiety at the top of this page) and can help you feel calmer overall. Here are some more ideas to help you feel calm and relaxed:

Calm Breathing

Muscle Tensing and Relaxing

Guided Relaxation Stories:

Cosmic Kids, guided relaxation videos

Moodcafé, relax like a cat exercise

Moodcafé - Relaxation for Children

Sesame Street Monster Meditations

Hospichill animation

Meet our animal friends and follow their breathing and movement to help feel calm & relaxed.