Many children go through phases of refusing to eat certain foods or even at times refusing to eat anything at all. This is common in young children when they are trying to show their independence. Although it may be worrying, it will not be harmful if your child doesn’t eat for a short period.
Golden Rules aka Division of Responsibility
As a parent you should decide on:
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- What, when & where foods are offered.
It is up to your child to decide:
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- If they want to eat, how much they want to eat, and in which order.
Environment
- Remove all distractions, e.g. TV, radio, toys, pets.
- Eat together as a family.
- Sit down at the table to eat.
- Seat your child so they are well supported & within easy reach of their plate/cups/utensils.
- Create a happy, relaxed atmosphere.
Choice
- Offer the same foods as the family eats – don’t prepare separate “special” meals.
- Continue to offer foods (on separate occasions) that have been previously refused. It may take a few exposures for a child to accept new foods.
- Don’t assume a child will dislike a particular food.
- Offer a new food alongside a familiar (liked) food.
- If they refuse food, do not offer.
Meal-times
- Offer very small amounts – too much food may overwhelm your child. Praise them when this is eaten and gradually increase the amounts offered.
- Encourage self-feeding, even if they are messy – table manners can develop later!
- Expect, allow & prepare for mess – place splash mats & newspaper on the floor. Clean up calmly at the end.
- Wipe sticky hands & face after the meal.
Timing
- Offer 3 meals. Some children may need snacks in-between.
- Set meals are better than “grazing”.
- Limit meal times to 20 – 30 minutes.
- Praise your child when they eat.
- Don’t become anxious, “fuss” or argue with your child.
- Learn to read cues—stop if they are turning their head away or clamping their mouth.
- Don’t rush your child to finish eating.
- Don’t force them; calmly remove the food after 30 minutes.
